Corncakes and Aliens.

corn corn corn corn cakes.

This is super-good food- easy to make, yummy, and a total man-pleaser. While I made these, I listened to a great video of John Hodgman telling a funny story about aliens.

Stir it up: Whisk 3 eggs in a big bowl. Stir in a can of drained corn niblets,

3 tablespoons cornmeal, 3 tablespoons flour, 3 chopped green onions,

1 cup shredded sharp cheddar, and some Salt n Pepper. It’ll make a thick, lumpy batter.

Bling it up: Maybe add some extra stuff like hot sauce, or sugar, or crumbled bacon, or chopped jalapenos, or somehing else. Or maybe not- I didn’t.

Cook it up: Heat a teeny bit of butter in a nonstick pan. Drop in big spoonfuls of batter to make pancakes, and mush ’em down flat while they fry. When the corncake edges are golden, sprinkle the raw tops with a big pinch of cornmeal and a wee pinch of salt, then flip ’em and brown the other side.

Serve with a dab of butter, & a drizzle of maple syrup or honey.

Source:  this recipe. Makes 5 or 6 medium-sized pancakes.

OH MAN!

We ate this with a deli rotisserie chicken and some pan-fried beet greens with goat cheese.

Rating: Hell yeah.

 

easiest effing ‘za recipe EVER

Do you like low carb, hi protein pizza, which maybe isn’t exactly pizza, but is delicious, and easy to make? Like, in under 10 minutes, prep included? Yes. FOR REAL. Here is what you do:

this is what orange shredded cheese looks like. do not, i repeat, do not use sparingly.

INGREDIENTS:

1 small can salsa

1 small can sliced black olives

couple handfulls of shredded orange cheese

one handfull of crumbled feta for shits and giggles

pinch o’ dried oregano

1 block extra firm tofu

DIRECTIONS:

1. Squish water out of tofu.

2. Preheat oven to 450 or something.

3. Cut tofu in half so you end up with 2 thinner slices. Cut each slice in half so you end up with 4 square-ish pieces altogether.

4. Mix together some of the olives from the can with most of the salsa from the small jar. Spoon over tofu. Make sure the tofu is thoroughly covered with the salsa/olive stuff, nice and thick.

5. Put lotsa orange cheese atop the salsa, followed by a smaller sprinkling of crumbled feta for shits and giggles.

6. Add the world’s teensiest sprinkle of oregano to each tofu pizza square.

6. Cook for 5-8 minutes, or as soon as the cheese is nice and melty and brown but not burned. VOILA. Easiest meal ever. You could make some substitutions (ie. yellow cheese, flavoured tofu, etc), but I don’t recommend it. Do exactly as I say and you will not regret it.

 

Corn Tortillas’ dad will beat up Wheat Tortillas’ dad.

Friends,

Maybe you’re like me and likey las quesadillas from time to time. Maybe you buy “flour tortillas”, ie “wheat flour tortillas”, to make them. You’re making a big mistake.

Yesterday I purchased “corn tortillas”. They are smaller than flour tortillas (maybe 6″ in diameter), and a little tougher-feeling. Friends, I did some really advanced mathematics on these and proved that they also taste ONE ZILLION TIMES better than flour tortillas. You heard me. In the arena of tortillas (and bread, and muffins, for that matter), corn is a superior ingredient.

Corn Tortillas. If they were good enough for Jesus*, they are good enough for me. (*That's pronounced Hey-Soos, by the way. He's a dude I met in Costa Rica. Very friendly guy.

Wheat-flour tortillas are insipid, textureless, and doughy. This means that wheat-flour quesadillas require an overload of cheese to make them palatable. Never let it be said that cheese overloads are not good-possibly-great things. But my friends, why make a 2-ingredient snack that relies the fat in one ingredient to camouflage the tastelessness of the other? (Don’t answer that. Rhetorical.)

Corn tortillas, on the other hand, make for quesadillas that are deliciously crisp at edge with a dense, toothsome texture throughout. The tortillas themselves have a slightly nutty, corny thing going on, and that thing is muy delightful. You need use only a reasonable amount of cheese because the tortilla itself has flavour and texture.

They are delicious, my friends, and I just ate four.

Corn tortillas. The superfood of the Aztecs of the future. That could be you.